I can’t believe Brent is dead. As odd as he was, I considered him my only compatriot within the coterie. I know he didn’t really like me but he was the only one to respect my spoutings of honesty or fact and, in my observance, the only one that really listened. I also don’t think we would have gotten nearly as far as we did in any of our missions without his direct help. I have no idea what my place is in this coterie with this type of hole in it.
It’s even more disturbing that he was diablarized……by a Kindred I considered one of my family members. I don’t feel that way anymore. And I hope he is haunted by the same apparitions of his feeding victims that Brent was. That seems an appropriate trade for whatever small power he gained. I can’t believe Douglas diablarized Chastity either. Cannibalism. We are all monsters. This evening was insanity.
I’m finally learning how to use my gifts, though. I think my perception of the evening is skewed by the fact that I am so shaken.
We went to Oz to face Chastity and settle Douglas’s debt with The Syndicate. Since I hadn’t been at the meeting, I asked Douglas, while we were sitting at the bar, if our goal was actually to find or to destroy Chastity. Douglas said destroy. Brent said find. Of course, since they were the only two people in the meeting, I had no idea what to think. The bartender asked who we were there to kill. There was very little discussion before some bald man screamed something at me about what we were doing there, I think. I started actually recounting events as they were, one by one, and he screamed in my face “YOU TALK TOO MUCH!” My wires seem to be snapping because every time I try to give people straight talk they get annoyed, say I’m bitchy, say I’m cold, or just don’t want to listen. (If you don’t want the answer, exactly as it stands, don’t ask). Anyway, I got really hurt and lashed out with anger, as has become customary for me in unlife for some reason. (I feel like a rebellious, angst-filled teen. It’s ridiculous). I screamed back at him “You’re bald too much!!” He freaked out, flipped a table and came at me. Of course, he punched me in the face, which seems to be the only way pissed off Kindred ever attack me. He dealt me a lot of damage so I vanished.
I walked through the melee and hid in the office with the intention of staying there to track Chastity after my coterie got their asses handed to them, which was entirely what I expected to happen. I didn’t see much of what happened next. I saw Merrik call gimps and ghost like things to their aid. I saw a little girl grow black tentacles. Most of this was out of the corner of my eye since I was slipping into the office. I pulled the fire alarm. Someone exclaimed they didn’t know what started this combat. I know, when I was taught my disciplines, I was told I could vanish from the mind but I didn’t believe it. I was certainly never given the opportunity to try it. I walked out of the office and back into the melee, straight through the combat, and out the door. I intended to wait for the back up that was supposed to come. Sayward said that Magnus would be sending someone. Unfortunately the skirmish was over too soon for anyone to get there. Shortly after I stepped outside, Sabbat members and members of my coterie ran screaming from the club. They were going on and on about a fire. I took that opportunity to justify why I was standing outside, drenched from the sprinklers.
We met up at Gabe’s house… He lives in the LaLaurie Mansion. That place is awesome. Lamech called me and said we were supposed to go to the hearing thing. There were members of both the Sabbat and Camarilla there. We stated Chastity attacked Brent so Douglas killed Chastity. (I’m not refuting that here. Large parts of what happened in the skirmish are purposely left out of even this, my own private journal. I wouldn’t discuss it anyway. I am too distraught). Douglas’s and Merrik’s auras were read and both were found to have committed recent diablare. I can’t believe Brent wasn’t dead after the attack and what a monster Merrik is for diablarizing Brent while he was terribly wounded. It was found that an eye for an eye was acceptable. The Sabbat would take their loss and the Camarilla would deal with Douglas. I didn’t hear what happened to Douglas aside from the fact that he seemed to come out with his unlife.
The rest of my coterie decided to go back to Gabe’s house, which I guess is the new hide out. I argued with Sayward that going there was unsafe because Gabe had just texted his address via iPhone and that, if Kindred have people in the police and fire department and utitlies, I’m certain they could gain his address from a text. She stated I was paranoid and they would use more mundane means. You know, she’s right. I’m sure they would use more mundane means. I’m also sure I’m paranoid. However, I’ve come to realize the Illuminati exist. Not as such but as many supernatural organizations each with a finger in every pot. I’d rather not risk it. I maintain my town home while it is being repaired but physically I move from abandoned home to abandoned home, hiding my pre-paid cell phone at night in places far away from my sleeping grounds. Let them try to find me. I guess I am living up to the Nosferatu reputation.
I wrote on Schreck.net earlier that I am having problems with the latter part of “Beast I am, lest beast I become.” I lied. Beast I am lest I become like the world around me. It is the collective beast as it was when I was alive. The more things change…